Update on Chris 07-18-07

I am so sorry it has taken me so long to send out this update…. It has been very busy around here. Chris was transported home by ambulance on Saturday. The day was long and hard, but he was kept very comfortable throughout the days’ transition process. Since Saturday, we have been adjusting to being at home, getting familiar with the hospice team and setting up his medical equipment and supplies at home.

Chris sleeps most of the time and usually only has 1-2 hours of awake time each day. I treasure these moments with him. He seems to be very comfortable and only has pain when he sleeps through and misses his medication. We have our bed set up for him and the recliner also, but he seems to be spending most of his time in the hospital bed. He still requires small amounts of oxygen at all times. He doesn’t get up often and requires a lot of assistance when does because he is so weak. We are just getting to know the Hospice team and have had a few minor problems, but I am prayerful that it will smooth out as time goes by. He has a nurse named Bonnie. She is really sweet. Right now, it looks like she will only come two or three times a week to check in on him, but I can call 24/7 if I need help or some one to come out. He also had a nurse aid that will come out a couple times a week to help with bathing and such. We are meeting with the social worker for the first time tomorrow. Chris is not eating hardly anything. He asked for a Dr. Pepper blended float yesterday and drank half. The day before, he had a half a piece of toast. I am trying to get as much fluids down him as I can, but he is not tolerating much and often throws it up.

A few months ago, I began to have new feelings of not wanting to see Chris is any more hurt or pain, even if that meant God taking him home, as hard as that feels. I still feel the sadness, watching him live like this. But, I believe we should still continue to believe God for a miracle, until it is finished. A dear friend of mine summed it up for me in some scripture that I would like to share with you also…

On Phil 1:6: "Believe that God always finishes what He starts, including His work in you."
Phil. 1:21-24: "Do not fear death. Remember that dying in God's timing and will is only victory for a believer."
Phil. 1:29: "Recognize and accept that true faith in Jesus Christ will involve suffering for His sake."
Phil. 4:4-7: "Rejoice as a constant discipline! Refuse to worry about things. Understand that Jesus gives peace to those who trust Him and ask for His help."
Phil. 4:11: "Choose to be contented in all circumstances."
Phil. 4:13: "Know and believe that Jesus Christ will enable you to do anything He asks of you. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM WHO BELIEVES!"

As for the family, we are all hanging in there. There are definitely good times and bad times. Sometimes I am not sure that having Chris home is the best thing for me and the kids. I miss the time he and I had alone together at the hospital, just sitting, even in quiet. The kids are sad seeing him like this all of the time. But, I want Chris to be where he is most comfortable, even if it is not the most “convenient” for me and the kids. It has certainly been nice to be at home and sleep better and spend more time with the kids. I also know that although this is hard on the kids, they are learning life lessons that a lot of children don’t learn at this age and they may be able to help others someday. They are being pretty strong, but please continue to pray for them, cause they are overwhelmed with emotions that they sometimes don’t know how to express. I feel exhausted most of the time and overwhelmed, but I have SO much help. I don’t know what I would do without all of the support we have.

I wanted to say a special thank you to the Faith Builders Sunday School class from FBC Euless. Thank you for all of the supplies you brought over. You have truly shown us God’s love and our family will never forget the way you gave so abundantly. Thank you also to all of my dear friends who have helped with the kids. This means so much to me. I also want you all to know how special our parents are… my mom and Chris’ parents have been with us every step of the way and have given endless time, love and support. How blessed I am to have them in my life. There are so many of you who continue to help us every day. Thank you for being there and walking through this with us. Between God and you holding me up, my strength is unimaginable.

I love you all and will try to send out another update soon.

Blessings,
Mandy